Transforming Fear into Faith
Fear is a universal emotion. Whether it’s the fear of failure, rejection, the unknown, spiders, clowns, water, fire or something deeply personal, we all experience it at some point in our lives. But what if I told you that fear, rather than being something that can keep us stuck, have us running, leave us fighting, or keep us complacent… can actually be a catalyst for growth, courage, and most importantly, Faith?
The First Step Towards Courage
As you well know, or can imagine, fear often arises from uncertainty and/or the perception of danger. It’s a survival mechanism deeply ingrained in our biology that helped us out when all we had were grunts for communication, and saber-toothed tigers to contend with outside of our caves. Fear was designed to protect us from literal harm. However, in our modern world, fear often extends beyond physical threats, affecting our mental and emotional well-being.
How many of you are afraid of public speaking? Approaching a stranger in a bar? Asking for the raise? Going after the big dream? Making the move across the globe? Standing up to a parent or a friend?
What is the fear here? These things won’t kill us. And yet, we fear them anyway.
We fear rejection, failure, discomfort, being made fun of, getting it wrong, not being enough, being too much, being vulnerable, and taking chances. Some of us are even afraid of success, and the responsibility that comes with it. Oh shit, what if we get it RIGHT? Now what? Can I even do it? Am I good enough? Am I capable?
The first step in facing fear is to acknowledge its presence. What are you afraid of?
When we name our fears, we strip them of some of their power. Fear thrives in the shadows, feeding on our avoidance, waiting for us around every corner. But when we bring it into the light and look at the thing we’re afraid of, we can start to understand it.
Courage isn’t the absence of fear but rather the decision to act despite it.
In the first season of Game of Thrones, Ned Stark tells his son Bran, who, after seeing an execution asks his father if a man can still be brave if he is afraid… and Ned tells him, “That is the only time a man can be brave.”
This is so key.
It is only in moments of fear, and doubt, with our hands shaking, and our voices quaking, that we can be BRAVE, and show courage. It is clear that we are afraid, no question… but moving forward anyway? THAT is what makes you brave.
It’s the quiet voice of Faith that says, “I will trust, and I will try,” that supports us in moments of bravery.
Courage is choosing to move forward even when fear tries to hold us back.
Or, if you want to be goofy about it… “Fuck around and find out!”
Fear is a Gateway to Growth
Fear holds many lessons for us. When examined, fear can reveal our deepest desires, values, and even our hidden strengths. This is the core of Shadow Work.
Let’s take a look at how this shows up…
Fear of failure might indicate a deep desire for success
Fear of rejection may point to the value we place on acceptance
Fear of being vulnerable shows us that we deeply long for connection
Fear of missing out on something could mean that we value growth, or experiences
By confronting our fears, we open ourselves to learning more about who we are and what we want from life. We begin to understand that fear is not an enemy but a teacher. The more we learn from our fears, the more we grow, building resilience and wisdom along the way.
In my current life, one of my biggest fears is losing everything… people, my home, my financial security, myself… I’m so afraid of having nothing. It’s a pretty irrational fear, but nonetheless, I’m afraid of losing my home, my job, my man, and my sanity, and ending up homeless, starving and on the streets.
This indicates to me that I place a lot of value on security, but also on HAVING, or being in possession of things, particularly things that can be taken away, or that I can lose. And while it’s beautiful to love so deeply in terms of pets and people… it’s not beautiful to cling to materialism as a source of comfort, or certainty. This indicates to me that I need to do work in this area, and learn to draw value, comfort, and certainty from something else… something deeper… something that can’t be taken away.
Which brings me to…
Transforming Fear into Faith
Faith is the antidote to fear, I’ll come right out with it. While fear tells us to retreat, faith encourages us to step forward, trusting that the ground will rise to meet us. Faith isn’t about ignoring the presence of fear; it’s about believing in something greater than our fears.
Let me give you an example of how this works using my fear of loss:
Let’s look at my fear of losing my partner, G. The thought of losing him draws my chest and abdominal muscles in so tightly it takes the breath right out of my body. Just the thought brings up the feeling of deep grief (so uncomfy!). What if he gets in a car accident on the way home from work? What if he has a heart attack? What if he leaves me for another woman? What if, this and that and the other?
Enter my Faith in something larger than myself (I like Universe, or GOD, in all caps)...
Let’s say he DOES die in a car accident on the way home… Perhaps this is because he has fulfilled his life’s purpose in accordance with what GOD needed of him, or perhaps the lesson is mine, and my next chapter is meant to be written without him. Let’s say he DOES leave me for another woman, one day he just decides I’m not that bitch, he’s moving on after 15+ years of life together, buh-bye… OK. My fear of REJECTION just came to life, but… Rejection is GOD’s protection… a detour in the right direction… this might hurt, and I WILL grieve (do not skip grief, of any kind, ever - feel it to heal it!) but this closed door opens the next. Maybe the next partner is better for me in some or many ways? Maybe there isn’t a next partner because the next leg of my life journey is meant to be taken alone? Whatever the case may be, I believe I’m being guided and held by The Universe, and I trust that this is happening for a reason that I may not see yet.
At the end of the day, Faith says, “I will be OK because I was meant to lose him in the grand scheme of things.” Or rather, “this was meant to happen,” whatever it is. Does that hurt? 100% Is that easy? No the fuck it is not. But is it the Truth? I believe that it is.
Transforming fear into complete Faith requires a major shift in perspective, and I believe it requires understanding and internalizing that we are not in control… which most people, including myself, do not like!
Faith involves trusting that even if things don’t go as planned, or even when the worst happens, there is a reason, a lesson or an opportunity hidden within the experience. There is something larger going on that you cannot see yet! It’s about believing in your own fortitude, and in the idea that the Universe has your back.
When fear arises, take a moment to breathe, acknowledge it, and then consciously choose to focus on what you believe in, whether it’s your own abilities, the support of loved ones, or a higher power. Trust, and move forward because the journey is going to continue with or without you.
Embrace the Journey
The journey from fear to courage, and eventually to Faith, is not a linear path. There will be setbacks and moments of doubt, and days where you cling to as much control as you think you can muster… but each time you face your fears, you’re building a stronger foundation of courage. And with that courage comes Faith - in yourself, in others, and in a higher power of your own understanding.
Remember, fear is not a sign of weakness but a sign that you’re on the edge of something new, something potentially transformative.
Embrace it, learn from it, and allow it to propel you forward. In doing so, you’ll find that fear can be the very thing that leads you to a deeper sense of courage and a stronger foundation of Faith.
Be well,
L
