Embracing, Releasing, and Healing Anger
Anger is a natural emotion, we all feel it. Whether it’s triggered by a frustrating situation, an injustice, or a deep-seated wound, anger can be intense and overwhelming.
How we handle anger ultimately determines its impact on our mental health, physical state, and emotional well-being. So we’re taking a look at understanding the nature of anger, how to release it in healthy ways, and steps to heal from it.
Understand Your Anger
Anger often gets a bad reputation. There’s nothing like a mad woman. (IYKYK)
Anger is something we’re taught to avoid, suppress, or fear, especially as women. But in truth, anger is a powerful signal from our psyche no matter who you are, and it indicates that something is wrong. It can be a response to boundaries being crossed, internal wounds being prodded, feelings of helplessness, betrayal, and even grief.
Recognizing and acknowledging your anger for what it is, and where it’s coming from, is the first step towards releasing it.
How Anger Shows Up
Passive Anger: Often expressed through sarcasm, cynicism, or silent resentment. This can ultimately show up in your entire demeanor and attitude, because you’re silently holding onto this kind of anger, and it will find its own way to seep out of you where it can.
Aggressive Anger: Manifested through outbursts, shouting, or even violence. This is essentially about how anger shows up in our actions; what we say, and do.
Passive-Aggressive Anger: A combination of both, where anger is expressed indirectly. This can often look like gossip or spreading rumors, “engaging in the comments”, attacking/doing something to others' things when they’re not around, snide comments, and much more. In my experience this feels like trying to actively be angry or aggressive towards the object of your rage, in a half-assed kind of way that may or may not result in an actual conflict.
Understanding the type of anger you experience can help you address it more effectively.
Release Your Anger
Once you’ve acknowledged your anger, the next step is to release it, of course. Holding onto anger can lead to stress, anxiety, and even physical health issues like high blood pressure or insomnia.
“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” Mark Twain
Let’s look at some healthy ways to let that anger out…
Physical Activity: Engaging in exercise like running, boxing, or even dancing can be a powerful way to release pent-up anger. There is nothing quite like lifting heavy weights, while listening to rap/club bangers, for me! Grrr! Physical movement helps to dissipate the adrenaline that anger builds up in your body, and in that way, it acts as a somatic practice for releasing a difficult emotion.
Journaling: Writing about your anger can be a cathartic experience. Rage on the page! It allows you to express your feelings without fear of judgment and can help you understand the root causes of your anger. If you’re feeling particularly sensitive about the content, you can always burn or rip the pages up when you’re done writing.
Creative Expression: Channeling your anger into art, music, or writing is one of the greatest ways to give your rage somewhere to live outside of your body. PLUS, this allows you to really take a LOOK at the feeling once it’s outside of yourself. How, then, does the art make you feel? It’s incredibly introspective. Creativity can transform anger into something constructive and meaningful.
Talking it Out: Sometimes, discussing your feelings with a trusted friend, therapist, or support group can provide relief. It helps to gain perspective and receive validation for your emotions. Sometimes, I find that just breathing my anger out of me, sharing it with someone else, can make the thing I’m angry about seem really insignificant, or even laughable. And sometimes, just saying, “WOW, this really pisses me off,” and allowing yourself to vocalize, and BE angry, will allow the feeling to pass much more quickly.
Mindfulness and Meditation: As always, these practices can help you observe your anger without being overwhelmed by it. They promote a sense of calm and detachment, allowing you to process your anger more rationally. This can be wrapped up in some of the activities above like movement, journaling, and creating.
Feel It to Heal It
Releasing anger is crucial, but healing from it involves deeper work. Healing requires you to address the root causes of your anger and to find a way to either accept something that you cannot change, or make a change in regards to something you can control… which is usually very little.
Identify Triggers: Understanding what triggers your anger can help you avoid, or better manage, big emotions when they inevitably come up in the future. Self-awareness is key here! Recognizing when you’re angry, and then pausing to assess the trigger, can help you change the trajectory of the moment.
Practice Forgiveness: Forgiving those who have wronged you—or even yourself—can be one of the most challenging steps in healing, but it’s so crucial. Know that forgiveness does excuse the offender. Forgiveness isn’t about condoning the hurt; it’s about freeing yourself from the burden of anger. In this way, forgiveness is a reclamation of personal power.
Cultivate Compassion: Try to understand the perspectives of those who have hurt you, as Gabby Bernstein would say, “see them for the first time.” While this doesn’t excuse their actions, it can help to reduce the intensity of your anger, by switching your lens to one of compassion. In this way, you allow yourself to step into Self-Energy, where you can get curious about their perspective, and potential connect, and heal the situation.
Seek Professional Help: If anger is deeply rooted and persistent, consider seeking the help of a therapist. Professional guidance can provide you with tools and strategies to heal more effectively. I’ve had personal experience with this. In doing childhood trauma healing work, IFS, and EMDR with my therapist, one of the core wounds I needed to heal was my Mother Wound. I held so much anger, and resentment, but what I found to be underneath, in doing the deep work… was grief. When you can look the root in the face, and heal THAT, the anger goes away.
Focus on Growth: At the very least, anger can be a catalyst for change! Reflect on what your anger has taught you and how it can inspire personal growth. Remember, anger is an indicator, it’s a secondary-emotion that follows a root emotion. Knowing this can teach you so much if you pause, and go digging. Use this energy to make positive changes in your life!
The Journey to Inner Peace
While anger is certainly a complex emotion, it’s also a powerful one. By understanding, releasing, and healing from anger, you can transform this energy into a force for positive change, by letting it be a catalyst for action.
The journey to inner peace, whether it’s from anger, sadness, or something else, begins with acknowledging your emotions, finding healthy ways to express them, and working towards forgiveness, ACCEPTANCE, and healing.
Remember, it’s not about never feeling anger—it’s about learning to manage it in a way that serves your highest good, and the highest good of all.
Be Well,
L
