Releasing Judgment: A Path to Inner Peace
If you haven’t noticed, we currently live in a pretty divisive world. It’s easy to get caught up in it too, with social media’s omniscient presence in the palm of our hands, and radically inflammatory headlines on every news station you see. This makes it all too easy to fall into the trap of judgment – both of ourselves and others.
As Gabrielle Bernstein says in her book Judgment Detox, “I use judgment to take the focus off my feelings of inadequacy, and I project those feelings onto someone else to feel relief.”
This habitual judgment creates a barrier that separates us from the love and peace we inherently desire. If you want to take that one woo-woo step further, judgment separates us from GOD, or LOVE; it separates us from the whole.
But what if we could release this judgment and embrace a life filled with compassion and understanding? Letting go of judgment can lead us to inner peace and a deeper connection with LOVE, or GOD.
The Weight of Judgment
Judgment ultimately stems from our own insecurities and fears. In fact, looking at our judgment is a kind of Shadow Work that can help us dive deeper in our understanding of ourselves, our desires, and our needs. For example, the things we often judge about others, or dislike about others, can stand as a reflection of something we wish we had within ourselves. I often find myself judging others who have complete freedom of their time. I may roll my eyes, or silently hate on them, but the reality is that they’ve done nothing wrong. I am simply resentful, or jealous that I don’t have that same freedom. I envy them. This is an incredible indicator of something that I lack in my life, that I wish that I had. Knowing this, I can set off on my own path to create that kind of freedom in my own life. I can’t control other people, I can only control myself.
Judging others serves as a reflection of our own inner turmoil. We project our discomfort onto those around us. If we can recognize this when we do it, we can regain control of our lives, and our peace.
While this kind of judgment can be heavy to bear if we don’t unpack it, when we judge ourselves the weight is even heavier. When we judge ourselves harshly, or impose unrealistic standards and expectations on ourselves, it leads to a cycle of self-criticism and dissatisfaction. No bueno!
Instead, we must learn to approach ourselves with compassion, curiosity and courage. When we take a good hard look at how we’re judging ourselves, we can start to let some light in, that can ultimately help us change, if we’re ready to take that journey of self-healing.
Judgment Has Consequences
Either way, when we engage in judgment, we distance ourselves from Love/God – whether you perceive it as Divine Love, Universal Love, or Self-Love. Judgment creates a sense of separation, isolating us from the essence of our being.
Sometimes this separation looks like, “I am less than,” and sometimes it looks like, “I am better than.”
Either way, it’s important to recognize that neither are true of you, or anyone else. Inherently, we all have value and worth, as parts of one stupendous whole. I like to call this Universe, sometimes I call this God. Call it what you want to call it - This is a Higher Power of your own understanding.
From the Christian perspective, we are all children of God, and our role is to LOVE one another. Only God can judge us. From a more secular or spiritually woo-woo perspective, we are all Divine in that we are all parts of one great whole. Love is our nature. To cast aside Love for Judgment or Fear is to separate yourself.
This kind of separation breeds negativity, resentment, and a lack of acceptance, hindering our ability to experience true peace and connection with ourselves, or with others.
So HOW then do we release our judgments?
OF THE SELF:
Cultivate Self-Compassion: Start by treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a dear friend. Acknowledge your imperfections and embrace them as part of your unique journey. There are NO BAD PARTS. Even the Addict. Even the Binger. Even the Spender. Even the Whiner, Complainer, Procrastinator, and Perfectionist. If you want to dive deeper into the idea of there being no bad parts, I highly recommend the book by Dr. Richard Schwartz of the same title, and my podcast episode on Internal Family Systems.
Practice Mindfulness: Become aware of your thoughts and judgments. When you catch yourself in a cycle of self-criticism, pause and redirect your thoughts towards self-acceptance and love. Don’t judge yourself for judging either! It’s a natural protection mechanism for us. It’s hard to avoid! Show yourself some grace, witness your judgment, and invite a different thought process.
Affirmations and Positive Self-Talk: Replace negative self-judgments with positive affirmations. Remind yourself of your worth and capabilities regularly. This can be tough depending on how deep any self-loathing you might have goes. I’ve been there. I didn’t think there would ever be a way for me to find self-acceptance. It takes embracing the negative, kindness, and a little cognitive behavioral therapy! Replace the negative with a new thought, and work it like a muscle. Eventually you start to act from that state of belief, and you begin to see yourself in a different light. You naturally become new.
Seek Support: Sometimes, releasing self-judgment requires external help. Consider speaking with a therapist or counselor who can guide you in developing a healthier self-perception. I’m always here for a therapy recommendation! If you’re ready to take that leap, click this link for a free week from BetterHelp.
OF OTHERS:
Empathy and Understanding: Strive to understand the perspectives and experiences of others. “See them for the first time”, as Gabby Bernstein says in Judgment Detox. Recognize that everyone is on their unique path, facing their own challenges, and that their actions come from their own pain, triggers and baggage. It doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it can help you release judgment through understanding. It can help you forgive. As Gabby B. also states, “Forgiveness is a choice. It's an internal shift that pivots us from feeling like a victim to feeling like a creator. It gives us the power to rebuild our lives and reclaim our worthiness.”
Reflect on Your Own Triggers: When you find yourself judging others, reflect on what might be triggering these thoughts. Often, it reveals more about our inner struggles than about the other person. As I mentioned above, everyone is a reflection of each other. The things we often judge about others, or dislike about others, can stand as a reflection of something we wish we had within ourselves.
Compassionate Communication: Engage with others through a lens of compassion. Instead of judging, offer support and encouragement if you can. Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Look for ways to connect to people you judge harshly. It’s possible, and rather likely, that you have more common ground than you think. Embrace these similarities, rather than dwelling on what makes you different. We all have shared humanity!
Releasing judgment can ultimately open the door to a deeper connection with Love or God, or a Higher Power of your own understanding. When we let go of the barriers created by judgment, we create space for unconditional love to flow into our lives, and we create a lens through which we can see that we’re all just one, we’re all connected, we’re all very much the same.
If Spirituality is something you struggle with, try some of these simple techniques:
Meditation and Prayer: Spend time in meditation or prayer, focusing on love and acceptance. Allow these practices to dissolve the judgments that create separation, and friction in your life.
Gratitude Practice: Cultivate gratitude for yourself and others. Gratitude shifts our focus from criticism to appreciation, fostering a sense of unity and love. Gratitude connects us back to Love/GOD, faster than any other vibration or feeling!
Acts of Kindness: Engage in acts of kindness towards yourself and others. These actions reinforce a positive and loving outlook, reducing the tendency to judge.
There is also a whole blog post here about why having a little Faith in your life is important (and why it is part of the Full Circle Wellness pie!): here.
Embracing Inner Peace
Inner peace is the natural state that emerges when judgment is released. It is the calm, confident, connected, courageous, compassionate and creative space within each and every one of us where LOVE resides, free from the turbulence of criticism and separation. As we release judgment, we align ourselves with our true nature – a state of LOVE, acceptance, and oneness. A state of peace.
It takes time to get there, but YOU ARE WORTH THE WORK. I promise you that.
Releasing judgment is a transformative journey that leads us to inner peace and a profound connection with Love/God. By letting go of self-criticism and the judgment of others, we create a space within ourselves where LOVE can flourish.
Embrace this path with compassion, courage, and gratitude, and watch as your life transforms!
Be Well,
L
