Why You’ve Gotta Have a Little Faith

If you had told me a couple of years ago that I would be sitting down to write a blog post to talk to you about Faith and developing a spiritual practice… I would have laughed.

You see, for a long time, I touted not believing in anything. I claimed atheism as my Truth. But I think the reality was that I had become so turned off by religion, that I didn’t think anything was real. I didn’t yet see that there were other ways to be a spiritual person.

And then I hit rock bottom. All I had left was a prayer, “Heal me. Please. I can’t do this anymore. I’m drowning here.”

I didn’t even know to “who” or “what” I was praying. I was simply begging for help, which certainly came to me… in the form of books, podcasts, a therapist… everything that I needed started showing up and as I started to notice, I reached for every bit of help that found its way into my sphere. It felt like magic, and actually, it was a manifestation.

All of that led me here… sitting down to write a blog post to talk to you about Faith and developing a spiritual practice.

My story with Faith truly begins in the Catholic church, y’all. I went to Catholic school, I did Communion, Reconciliation, I was Confirmed in the name of St. Angela Merici and I thought all of that was fine and good until I was confronted with other religious ideas. Sometime in high school I started to think… “Well, it’s all kind of the same, and yet it’s all kind of different… How do we know which is right?” and, “Well, maybe none of it is right.”

I claimed atheism for a long time, laughing at the religiously inclined, feeling that I had jumped off of a bandwagon heading nowhere.

And then… just before college… I was “born again”, and started going to a Methodist church.

That didn’t last long. Eventually I found myself back in the realm of “I don’t believe in any of this shit anymore,” disconnected from anything larger than myself. Throughout college and into my young adulthood, I continued to struggle with depression, anxiety, alcohol and drug abuse, binge eating disorder, self-harm and suicidal thoughts. I was stuck looking outside of myself for validation, a sense of worth, and guidance.

Circling back… all of that got me nowhere fast. I had hit my own version of rock bottom. Lost, ready to give up all hope, looking at myself and my life wondering, “How could this happen? Who have I become?” I was so disconnected and angry. I knew that what I was doing wasn’t working, and as I said above, all I had left was a prayer… “Heal me. Please. I can’t do this anymore. I’m drowning here.”

I was 26. I was simply begging for help. I didn’t even believe in anything, but it didn’t matter, because my prayers were answered.

Left and right HELP came to me… at first it was a book that my aunt gave to me out of no where (she “just thought I would be into it”), and then it was an online course brought to my attention by a friend… and then more books… podcasts… articles… spiritual teachers… strangers… my boss at the time offered to help me get therapy from his own therapist… stuff just started to happen like magic, and I started to think… maybe… maybe SOMETHING is working in my favor.

It wasn’t until I started a meditation practice though, at the behest of my therapist now, that I started to hone in on what I ultimately believe to be my Truth today.

It took going inward to realize that I am connected to everything and that everything is connected to me. The “something larger” is everything. I interchangeably use the terms “GOD”, Universe, Source, Spirit… I speak of angels and guides, Nature and Love. THE ALL. In my perspective, all of it is one.

What became important to me in my journey is maintaining a connection to the presence of this Energy, through a daily spiritual practice. It grounds me and completely holds me. I now firmly believe that if you’re going to do internal work, healing work, personal development and the like… you need a little Faith, a little belief in something, to ground you and anchor you in your journey. This is your inner wisdom, your guide on the path, the source of GOD within you… and you need it. However you choose to believe.

I came across a quote very recently in “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks, that so accurately summarized what I believe today that I’ll close out by sharing it with you all here… he writes:

“Then a special kind of awareness settled into me, a sure knowledge that seemed so obvious I wondered why I hadn’t thought of it before: I am made of the same stuff as everything else. The trees, the sky, the earth beneath me - we’re all made of the same thing and it is all one thing. Everything is connected to everything else…

Later in life I came across a stunning passage from The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius, which spoke directly to me across time from first-century Rome: I am part of the whole, all of which is governed by Nature… I am intimately related to all the parts, which are of the same kind as myself. If I remember these two things, I cannot be discontented with anything that arises out of the whole, because I am connected to the whole.”

Nature… GOD… Universe… Source… it is not separate from us, it is us. It is when we get quite, and go inward, that we can access it. Whether you do this through prayer, meditation, or something else, developing a practice of connecting with a higher power of your own understanding will ultimately serve your highest good, and the highest good of ALL. Go inward, listen, and follow.

Be well,
L