Let’s Talk About Mental Health
If Personal Development is the “umbrella” slice of the Full Circle Wellness pie… then Mental Health is what I would consider the “foundation” slice.
When I started on my own healing and wellness journey, I started with mental health. Not because I knew to start there, but because I felt in my bones that I could no longer attempt to work on things like physical fitness and nutrition, financial woes, or finding my purpose until I had done the deeper work to heal my childhood trauma and find inner peace.
I think this Truth stands for anyone. I believe that it boils down to getting to a place of peace and safety in your Mind and with your Mental Health FIRST, before you tackle anything else.
Why?
In my own experience, I was living in a cocoon of “not enough, not worthy, never gonna be enough or worthy.” In my first few weeks of therapy I realized that I didn’t even believe that was worthy of the work! I didn’t think I even deserved to work on myself, for myself. Y’all. That is a lot of pain, and a lot of trauma stories talking right there. Because here is another Truth with a Capital T for you… you ARE WORTH THE WORK. I was worth the work. I just had to start believing it. And yes, getting to that place required the guidance of my therapist.
You see, when we have experienced trauma, Big T or small t, that we haven’t “dealt with”, as it were, we will continue to operate from that place of trauma, that place of fear, scarcity and lack, until we do the deeper work to heal the Exiled Parts of ourselves that carry our pain. There is no other way around it.
You cannot, and I repeat, CANNOT, shame yourself into changing. It does not work. It will not last. You will always “slide back”. You must instead choose, yes, CHOOSE, to love yourself through an evolution back to Love.
Let me give you an example of this from my own life.
Before I started doing healing work, I was “shoulding” all over myself…
“I should work out more, I’m such a lazy piece of shit, I’m so fat, how did I let this happen?”
“I should really be less emotional, I’m such a burden on the people around me!”
“I just need to sit down and learn more about money, I’m such an idiot for having this credit card debt!”
”I really need to get a better job, I should be further along by now.”
If this sounds like you. Stop it. This is not how you improve your life. This is no way to show yourself love or compassion. You would not talk to a friend this way, please do not talk to yourself this way. This is not how you elicit change.
In fact, these shitty phrases came from a burdened Part of me (I simply call her Perfectionist) that thought if everything looked good on the outside, that no one would see the pain I felt on the inside. Screw actually healing that pain, things just needed to look good.
It was only through therapy, and stepping bravely into a Mental Health journey that I began to heal the wounds that said “you are not enough, you are not worthy, you are not lovable” in the first place. This healing helped that critical Part of me calm down, and step back long enough to give me the space I needed to do the deeper work.
As that work seeped into me, altering my belief system, calming all of my Parts… the “shoulds”, became “wants” that came from a place of LOVE and COMPASSION.
“I want to improve my physical fitness and nutrition habits because I love my body, and I want to take care of it from here on out.”
“Feeling my emotions deeply is a beautiful thing. I want to learn how to communicate them to others in a healthy way to improve my relationships.”
“I want to release my fears and emotions about money so that I can learn how to manage my finances, and create a life of abundance for myself and my family.”
“I want to do work that fuels my soul, that gives me purpose, that aligns with my values.”
Most importantly, I wanted to feel a sense of inner peace. It all starts with the feeling.
When my journey began, a book happened into my life titled “Happy Days”, by Gabrielle Bernstein, and in it there was a prayer for healing that I still use today, and I’m going to share it with you right here, right now, but I’m also going to recommend that if you’re starting on a deep healing journey, you get a copy of that book.
The prayer is this:
THANK YOU [God, Universe, Source…] FOR GUIDING ME ON A PATH TOWARDS INNER PEACE.
I HONOR THE VISION OF HOW I WANT TO FEEL. I AM OPEN TO RECEIVING GUIDANCE NOW.
And how do you honor the vision of how you want to feel? Well first, know how you want to feel. And then, you take small right actions daily. Move your body, spend less time in front of the TV, journal, drink more water, cook a meal, take a walk, hug a friend, reach out to a support system… only you know what you need to do. Start small, and build. One day, one step at a time.
As always, if you BELIEVE you can… because it all starts with that belief… then you WILL. And if you believe you can’t, well… you won’t. But I believe that you can, and you should too.
Be well,
L
