Peace Begins with You
Is it just me, or does the world feel a little nuts these days? Depending on who you are, and where you stand, I guess it has felt nuts for a while. The thought of feeling “at peace” might even seem foreign to you at this point. And you’re not alone.
Living in a world that feels increasingly fast-paced and overwhelming, volatile and divisive, unsafe and untrustworthy, is leaving many people truly struggling to find a sense of inner peace.
Between constant notifications (which you have permission to turn off, btw), endless to-do lists, and the pressure-cooker that is modern politics, it’s no mystery that stress, anxiety, and restlessness are at an all-time high.
But I’m here to tell you, you can calm down. I’m giving you permission, and further down below, I’m giving you techniques. At least while you’re here with me, take a couple of deep breaths, because I’m here to tell you that peace is possible.
So, what exactly is inner peace, and why does it feel so elusive?
Why Most People Struggle with Inner Peace
Point blank: The majority of us (especially in Western culture) have been conditioned to seek fulfillment externally.
External achievements and accolades, material possessions and status symbols, the job, the house, the car, the degree, the spouse, the kids, the vacation spots, external validation and approval from others in the form of likes, follows and comments.
Many of us believe (because it’s what we were taught) that once we reach a certain milestone like a better job, more money, the perfect relationship, marriage, children… that we will finally feel at peace, happy and satisfied.
Bullshit. This is what is making your peace feel elusive. You’re looking in the wrong place.
As one of my favorite spiritual teachers Gabrielle Bernstein wisely points out, "Peace begins when expectations end."
When we tie our peace to external factors, we give away our power and remain in a constant state of striving rather than being.
And as Tony Robbins like to remind us, “Tell me your state and I’ll tell you your future.”
Meaning your physicality. The physical state of being that you are currently experiencing.
You can be in a state of fear, overwhelm, stress, abundance, joy, gratitude… It doesn’t matter. Where focus goes, energy flows.
Focus on division and chaos, you will feel the division and the chaos.
Focus on staying calm, and being at peace, you will feel calm, and at peace.
AND, you take that state out into the world with you, which is where the magic or the tragic happens.
If you’re not seeing what I mean here, let me pull back the curtain…
Peace is a State of Being.
Many of us feel disconnected from ourselves, burdened by unresolved emotions, and trapped in cycles of negative thinking. And much of this is a result of simply not knowing any better, and being easily sucked into what I’m just going to call, “The Matrix” (think - social media, ads, news media, cultural norms and expectations, systems, etc.)
Without addressing your internal barriers to being in a state of peace regardless of what’s happening around you, achieving peace remains a distant dream. Focus on peace as your state of being.
But, how?
In an article on STATE from Tony, he further shares,
“Think about it: If you’re ruminating on how someone at your job was rude to you, took credit for your idea, or left you out of an important decision, what state are you most likely going to be in?
A pissed off one.
And if you focus on how someone has taken advantage of you or screwed you over, you’re going to feel it, even if it’s not true.
How many negative emotions do you experience in a day due to focusing on situations that create states of fear, anger, and overwhelm?
What if you focused on what’s working instead? What kind of state would you be in if you thought about all the GOOD things happening to you throughout the day?
What kind of emotions would you feel if you thought about a warm interaction you had with a manager or colleague, one where your skills and passion felt seen and valued?
Or a moment where your team crossed the finish line together on a big project and celebrated?
Or a loved one’s face lit up because of something kind you did or said?
How different is life experiencing that state?
What you focus on is everything.
In today’s world everyone is competing for your attention, and they’re aiming to profit from it.
Social media, the news...
But it’s up to you to direct where your focus goes, friend.
Control your focus, control your life.”
Where focus goes, energy flows.
What you focus on affects your state; your state affects the stories you tell yourself; the stories you tell yourself become your identity; your identity determines the actions you take; the actions you take become the habits your form; the habits your form create the life you live.
It all starts with state, and more good news… State is something you can actively work on.
Small Right Actions to Cultivate a State of Inner Peace
Here’s the Tea: Inner peace is not something we have to chase, it’s something we can cultivate from within.
BOOM.
But I get it, that sounds like a tall order.
And when something feels too big, like eating an elephant (metaphorically), it’s time to bust out the Small Right Actions. The baby steps you can take daily to move in the direction you’re trying to go, “one bite at a time.”
Here are a few powerful Small Right Actions you can take to help you take steps toward inner peace right here right now:
1. Create Space for Stillness
Inner peace begins when we allow ourselves to slow down. Whether through meditation, breathwork, or simply taking a few deep, conscious breaths throughout the day, creating space for stillness helps us reconnect with the present moment. As another one of my favorite spiritual teachers Deepak Chopra says, "Silence is the great teacher, and to learn its lessons, you must pay attention to it." Get quiet. Get still. And listen to what comes through. You can call this intuition, Higher Self, GOD, whatever works for you. Just listen to it.
2. Practice Radical Acceptance
Much of our inner turmoil comes from resisting what is, and/or from trying to force what we believe should be. Practicing acceptance doesn’t mean we have to love every situation, but it does mean we stop fighting against reality. Gabrielle Bernstein encourages us to surrender by reminding ourselves, "When you surrender control, you invite miracles." Letting go of what we cannot change creates space for peace to enter. This is how you replace fear, with faith. And if that’s not enough, take Mel Robbins’ advice and just “Let Them.” But don’t forget to follow that up with “Let Me.” This is a stark reminder of where you control lies, which is with yourself and yourself alone. Embrace it.
3. Declutter Your Mind and Environment
A cluttered space often reflects a cluttered mind. Take time to declutter both your physical space and your mental space. Journaling (of the brain dump variety), mindfulness, and limiting social media consumption can help clear mental noise, while tidying your home can create a more peaceful environment. Don’t underestimate the power of a good deep-clean, I’m telling you. Turn on some music, clean the house, and then bask in it with your journal and a hot beverage. It’s magic.
4. Prioritize Gratitude
If there is one thing I do everyday without missing a beat, it’s writing down a minimum of five things I am feeling a sense of gratitude for, like rubbing my dog’s belly in silence before falling asleep, or a slow and easy work day, or the fact that I have a co-worker who stays on top of making coffee for everyone, or the little squeeze and a kiss I got from my bae before leaving for work. Inner peace grows when we shift our focus from what’s lacking to what’s abundant. Keeping a daily gratitude list—even just a few things each morning—can reframe your mindset and bring a sense of contentment. I promise.
5. Set Healthy Boundaries
Many people feel drained because they give too much of themselves without refilling their own cup. Learning to say NO, stepping away from toxic relationships or places, and protecting your energy are crucial steps toward inner peace. Protect your peace at all costs, and honestly, don’t let anyone tell you that you’re selfish for it. You’re not. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Protecting YOUR peace, is also protecting the relationships that matter most to you.
6. Engage in Mindful Movement
Whether it’s yoga, a walk in nature, or simple stretching, movement can be a meditation in and of itself. It grounds you in the present moment and helps release stored tension in the body. These are all great practices to cultivate should you wish to work on creating some peace for yourself. And while you might now have the time, you must make the time.
7. Reconnect with Your True Self
Deepak Chopra encourages self-inquiry as a way to rediscover inner peace. Ask yourself, "Who am I beyond my roles and responsibilities?" Who am I shorn of labels? Who am I separate from others? Who AM I? Sit with this, learn about yourself, and your values and beliefs, and then live in alignment with that. Living authentically and with integrity creates a sense of inner peace because you no longer waste time living a lie. This can also help you learn to spend time doing things that genuinely bring you joy, that reflects on your values, and that moves you toward alignment with your authentic self.
So, Take a Deep Breath…
Inner peace isn’t elusive. It isn’t something we find.
Inner peace is something we create through small, intentional actions each day. Step by step. Small right action after small right action.
To quote Gabrielle Bernstein again, she says, "Peace is in your pulse." It’s already within you, waiting to be uncovered. By slowing down, embracing acceptance, and cultivating mindfulness, you can start experiencing the profound sense of calm and fulfillment that true inner peace brings.
If it’s helpful to know, I found it when I started a meditation practice… which turned into a spiritual practice… that is where I found peace. Sitting in silence, with all Parts of me present, talking to GOD, and patiently waiting for answers. And I have a sneaking suspicion that you’ll find your peace in a similar place, right inside of you.
You can start with any one of these practices today, and watch how even the smallest shift can lead you to a more peaceful, grounded, and even spiritual, life.
Take your time.
Keep showing up.
Peace will creep up on you before you know it.
Be Well,
L
