It Starts with STATE
While it’s great to share resources, and talk about strategies like creating a plan of action for more balance in your life, or for getting your movement in, or drinking your water, all of the things… It's even more important that we step back for a second and talk about our STATE.
Nope, not Ohio (love you though, OH). I’m talking about our STATE OF BEING.
And I want to talk about this because I am seeing a lot of people failing at tackling their strategy of choice… because they haven’t done the work to adjust their state.
STATE, refers to your mental and emotional condition (mindset), which significantly impacts your actions and outcomes.
Now, this isn’t original, this isn’t news. I learned this from the great Tony Robbins, who emphasizes that a positive and empowered state is crucial for success. And I couldn’t agree more.
One of the biggest epiphanies I’ve come to experience in my healing, and wellness journey is that… One cannot effectively implement a strategy towards a goal, if they have not first corrected their state of being.
Let me explain. I’ve got a strong example for you.
I’d been dieting, attempting exercise trends, and taking on challenges in the fitness and weight loss space for years. YEARS, y’all. I started counting calories when I was like, 11? Nothing cute about that. And not until recent years, have my efforts started being reflected in my physical body. And why? What changed? My STATE changed. My MINDSET changed. Which affected the strategies I used.
Because every time I started, and stopped, and started again in my younger years, I was doing it because “I really need to lose this weight, I’m such a whale,” because, “I hate my thighs, I wish they didn’t touch, I have GOT to get this weight off of me,” because, “I’m either going all in or this is a failure,” because, “I hate this body and I want a different one.”
Can you hear the self-hatred? Achieving health doesn’t work that way.
You see, I was approaching trendy wellness tactics (diets, exercise programs, etc.) from a STATE of LACK. Which IS 👏🏼 NOT 👏🏼 SUSTAINABLE 👏🏼
That’s like waging war against yourself. No. And again. No.
Personal development effort of any kind cannot come from a place of hating yourself and demanding that you change by white-knuckling through, all-or-nothing thinking, and limiting beliefs about what’s possible. Couple that with a lot of misunderstanding about how nutrition and exercise actually work together, and you’re setting yourself up for failure.
Deeper healing work can help you change your STATE, as well as your STORY (the narrative you tell yourself about your life, your capabilities, who you are and your past experiences) but we’ll get to Story another time.
At the end of the day, you MUST love yourself through the evolution.
Your state must be one of compassion, patience, and love before you can successfully apply the tactics that will help you reach the goal.
And while I used weight loss and a physical journey as an example, this applies to money mindset/financial tactics, pursuing a new job, and even mental health.
Let’s a take a look at the kind of STATES that I’m talking about so I can help you understand how to assess whatever you have going on in your own life, on your own journey.
Limiting States of Being
Fight or Flight – Operating from stress, fear, or survival instincts.
Freeze or Fawn – Shutting down or people-pleasing in response to stress.
Lack/Scarcity – Feeling there is never enough (money, time, love, resources).
Fear – Living in worry, anxiety, or avoidance.
Victimhood – Feeling powerless, like life is happening to you rather than for you.
Shame – A deep sense of unworthiness or not being enough.
Guilt – Feeling responsible for things that may not be yours to carry.
Resentment – Holding onto grudges, bitterness, or past wounds.
Perfectionism – Striving for unattainable standards, leading to self-criticism.
Imposter Syndrome – Doubting one's abilities or feeling like a fraud.
Codependency – Deriving self-worth from others’ validation or approval.
Apathy – A lack of motivation, energy, or purpose.
Burnout – Running on empty, feeling exhausted and detached.
Defensiveness – Reacting to perceived criticism or threat instead of responding calmly.
Ego-Driven – Acting from a place of pride, arrogance, or insecurity disguised as confidence.
Empowering States of Being
Abundance – Trusting there is more than enough for everyone.
Love – Approaching life with compassion, care, and connection.
Peace – Feeling grounded, present, and in flow with life.
Gratitude – Recognizing and appreciating what is rather than focusing on what’s missing.
Authenticity – Showing up as your true self, without masks or pretenses.
Confidence – Trusting in yourself and your abilities.
Flow – Being fully immersed in what you’re doing with ease and joy.
Forgiveness – Letting go of past hurts to create freedom.
Surrender – Releasing the need for control and trusting the process.
Creativity – Expressing yourself freely and seeing new possibilities.
Joy – Finding lightness, playfulness, and pleasure in life.
Presence – Living in the now instead of dwelling on the past or future.
Resilience – Bouncing back from challenges with strength and adaptability.
Trust – Believing in yourself, others, and the universe.
Intuition – Listening to your inner wisdom and gut instincts.
Where do you typically find yourself? The first step to creating change, tackling goals, losing the weight, healing the trauma, paying down the debt, etc. is to change your physical state.
You can do this through movement, breathing exercises or even a cold shower. The idea is literally shake off the negative energy and make room for positivity, and a good mindset.
Still not sure what kind of state you’re operating from? Try out one or more of these Small Right Actions to self-assess:
1. Morning Check-In: Name Your State
📌 Action: Each morning, take 30 seconds to name the state you're operating from (e.g., scarcity, peace, fear, abundance).
✨ Why? Awareness is the first step to change. Naming it helps you take conscious control.
2. Shift Your Physiology
📌 Action: If you feel stuck in a limiting state, move your body—stretch, shake it out, dance, take a deep breath.
✨ Why? Changing your physical state helps shift your emotional and mental state instantly.
3. Gratitude Reset
📌 Action: List three things you’re grateful for before bed. Bonus: Reflect on how they made your day better.
✨ Why? Gratitude moves you from lack to abundance, from stress to peace.
4. The "What If" Flip
📌 Action: When a fear-based thought comes up, flip it with a positive “What if” statement.
🔹 Example: “What if this doesn’t work?” → “What if this turns out better than I imagined?”
✨ Why? This rewires your brain to expect positive possibilities instead of worst-case scenarios.
5. Set a "Safe Word" for Overwhelm
📌 Action: Choose a word (like "reset" or "breathe") to say to yourself when you feel triggered into fight/flight. Pair it with a deep breath.
✨ Why? It creates a pause, helping you break automatic stress responses.
6. Flip "I Have To" to "I Get To"
📌 Action: When you catch yourself saying, "I have to..." reframe it as, "I get to..."
🔹 Example: "I have to work out" → "I get to move my body and build strength."
✨ Why? This shifts your mindset from obligation to gratitude.
7. Choose a 5-Minute Joy Break
📌 Action: Each day, set a timer for 5 minutes and do something joyful—listen to a song, step outside, doodle, laugh at a meme.
✨ Why? Small moments of joy build a foundation for a lighter, more abundant state.
ASK YOURSELF: Am I currently letting the outside world influence my state of being, instead of letting my state of being influence my outside world? In other words, in what ways, if any, are you letting the actions of others, or other things outside of your control, influence your STATE? Why? And how can you begin to shift?
Once your State has shifted, the next step is to change your Story. Adopting an attitude of gratitude or focusing on your strengths can and will dramatically alter your perspective. Start telling yourself a new Story about your life, give yourself that #maincharacter energy, you ARE the HERO of your own Story. You are the one you’re waiting for…
NOW…
Once you’ve managed to shift your State, and your Story, now you can move on to Strategizing for the future you want to create. Now, your mind is in the right place to come up with effective and constructive plans for… meal plans, budgets, business plans, exercise routines, etc.
Get your STATE right.
Adjust the STORY you’re telling yourself.
Leave your excuses at the gyatdamn door.
And THEN, you’ve got this.
I believe in you, do you believe in you?
Be Well,
L
