So You’re Curious About Getting Sober
In recent years, there's been a noticeable shift in how we perceive alcohol and its role in our lives. The phrase “sober curious” is getting thrown around pretty often, and if I’m being honest, I’m here for it!
More and more people are getting curious about sobriety, not out of necessity, but out of a desire to live healthier, more fulfilling lives, which is what we’re all about here at Full Circle Wellness! So, if this sounds like you and you’re out there pondering what it might be like to embrace sober living, I’ve got you! And, you’re not alone.
So, why consider sobriety?
It boils down to this: What does your current relationship with alcohol (and/or drugs) look like, and how do you feel about it?
Are you just young and having fun? Do you use a glass of wine (or two) every night to cope? Do you only drink on weekends or with dinner? If you start drinking, can you stop, or do you drink to get drunk? Do you practice safe drinking (i.e. you don’t drink and drive)? How do you feel after a night of drinking and how do you feel about that feeling? Does drinking feel like a necessity to have fun, or a necessity in general? How would you feel if you drank less? What if you didn't drink at all?
There are a lot of questions to ask yourself. If you’re feeling curious about sobriety, I highly recommend getting a journal out and answering some or all of these questions for yourself. These questions are the first steps toward understanding the profound impact that alcohol, or the lack thereof, can have on your life.
I’ve got a story for you…
The night that I recognized I had a problem with alcohol stands out very clearly in my mind, and it’s ultimately what led me to choose sobriety.
Back in 2021, well after the quarantine restrictions started to lift, several girlfriends and I were out for my best friend’s birthday. Dinner was at a winery where, naturally, you could purchase a bottle of wine and have them re-cork it for you to take home if you didn’t finish it. “If” being the operative word here, because surprise… I finished the bottle at dinner. Not only did I finish the bottle at dinner, but after dinner, we went to a bar next door for more drinks, where I downed a couple of beers. After the night wound down, feeling just a little buzzed, I made the poor and illegal decision to drive home, and while I got home safely, living extremely close by… that doesn’t excuse the behavior.
Once I got home, I began to binge eat on my leftovers from dinner - a massive pasta meal - and, you guessed it… have a couple more glasses of wine. Let’s not forget to mention the bong I fired up once I got home… around 12 A.M.
What made me take pause was two-fold:
I really wasn’t as drunk as you might think, given the amount of alcohol I had consumed… something I was once proud of finally hit me as shameful…
I was binge eating… again… and…
I still wanted to keep drinking.
I knew I had a problem, or at least, I was recognizing at that moment that my tolerance had gotten to an all time high.
It took a couple more months of debating with myself though, before I finally decided to take the plunge. After a night of drinking at home with a friend, I finished the last of the White Claw in my fridge and vowed that that was the last of it.
Of course… There is no perfect sobriety journey, and this didn’t last very long. The next time a party came around, I said, “Oh, just one…I can change…” and then, when my birthday rolled around, “Well, shots on my birthday doesn’t count…” and then, when the annual holiday party came up, “I mean, who doesn’t drink on Christmas?”
I realized I was simply relapsing from my original decision to quit, and still smoking (daily) all the while, still looking to numb out every chance that I could get my hands on. Not just drinking, but drinking to get drunk. Drinking to numb out.
January (2022) came, and this was it, I was committing. No more drinking, not even on my birthday, not even at the party, or dinner, or Christmas. Sober meant sober. And, it almost stuck. That year I still had a glass on my birthday, and another at Christmas… because here’s the thing… getting sober is hard work. Social pressure is real. Addiction is real. Sobriety requires deep INTERNAL WORK. But it can be done.
Since January of 2023 (I’m sure you notice a theme brewing here), I’ve been 100% sober without a relapse.
It took several more months to let go of smoking as well, but I can finally stand here today and say that I am finally, and completely sober.
This life is possible. It’s different, but here's what’s up:
I sleep better
I’m happier
I still have fun at parties…
And on my birthday…
And during the holidays…
My skin is clear
My head doesn’t hurt all the time
I very rarely get sick
I don’t feel bloated
I don’t have a sickening bong cough
And I don’t wheeze when I lay down
If that doesn’t sum it up enough, let’s explore the benefits of sobriety in a more specific way:
Physical Health Improvements
Sleep: Alcohol disrupts sleep patterns, leading to restless nights and poor quality rest. Sobriety results in restful and rejuvenating sleep. Maybe not initially, since your body has to detox and get used to the new lifestyle, but over time, sleep will improve.
Energy: Without the depressant effects of alcohol, you will find that you have more energy, and better overall physical performance whether it’s at work, at home or in the gym.
Weight: Alcohol is calorie-dense and filled with sugar which can lead to weight gain.
Vitality: Alcohol is known to deplete the body is vital nutrients that keep us looking, well, youthful! Over time, your skin, hair and nails take damage due to excessive alcohol consumption.
Immunity: Alcohol completely destroys (yes, destroys) your gut microbiome, where the bulk of your immune system lives… kill the good bacteria in your gut and you’re likely to get sick more often.
Mental Health Benefits
Mood: Alcohol can exacerbate anxiety and depression. You are likely to have a more stable and positive mood once you get sober, and let’s remember, taking care of your mental health is the foundational work for taking care of other aspects of your overall wellness.
Cognitive Function: Sobriety can lead to clearer thinking, better memory, and improved focus, making everyday tasks and challenges easier to manage.
Stress Reduction: Without alcohol, your body and mind handle stress better, making it easier to develop healthy coping mechanisms for your life and your situation.
Social and Emotional Well Being
Deeper Connections: Sobriety often leads to more genuine and meaningful relationships, because your interactions are no longer clouded by alcohol. Ask yourself seriously, how many friends would you lose if you stopped drinking? Are they really your friends?
Confidence: Many people find that their self-esteem improves without the crutch of alcohol, allowing for a more authentic and confident self-presentation, and a higher sense of self-worth.
Personal Growth: Sobriety encourages introspection and self-awareness, and can be a key point in a major health and healing journey, like it has been for me.
Want to try it?
Contrary to popular belief, transitioning to sober living doesn't mean giving up fun or becoming isolated. In fact, you may find that your social life and personal interests improve over time.
It’s also worth noting here that if you’re deciding to give up drinking because you’re in abuse/alcoholism territory, that the alcoholic Protector Part of yourself is likely doing their best to keep an Exiled Child Part of you safe from feeling shame, or from facing your demons. Be prepared to confront this if you’re going down this road. If you want to dive deeper on what I meant by that, head over to my YouTube channel and check out the IFS Episode of my podcast: Let’s Talk About It.
Let’s look at how sober living can enhance your life:
Rediscovering Hobbies and Interests: Without alcohol taking up time and energy, you can rediscover old passions or find new ones. Whether it's painting, hiking, or learning a new language, sobriety gives you TIME that you didn’t have before.
Financial Savings: The cost of alcohol adds up like you would not believe (or maybe you’ve noticed!). You will likely find that your finances improve significantly once you quit drinking. This can allow you to invest in other areas of your life. It’s also worth noting here, from my experience, the cost of my weed habit was crippling my bank account. It blows my mind to think about how much money I was spending on drugs and alcohol!
Healthier Social Circles: Engaging in activities that don't revolve around drinking often leads to meeting like-minded individuals who prioritize health and well-being. You may find that this opens you up for all kinds of opportunities like new experiences, jobs, travel… all sorts of adventure!
The Practical Steps…
If you’re like “Yeah girl! I’m ready!”, let me hit you with the practice steps:
Set Clear Goals: Whether it's cutting back or going completely sober, define what you want to achieve.
Find Support: Join sober communities online or in-person, such as AA meetings or sobriety-focused groups.
Educate Yourself: Read books, listen to podcasts, and watch documentaries about sobriety, AND personal development. Once you stop drinking, you’re likely going to want to start developing in other areas. I’ve got a library of resources right here.
Mindful Drinking: If you're not ready to quit completely, start by being mindful of your drinking habits and gradually reduce your intake.
Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Each step towards sobriety is a step towards a healthier you.
At the end of the day getting curious about sobriety is not about restriction; it's about FREEDOM. It’s about exploring a lifestyle that promotes health, happiness, and overall well-being. By asking the right questions and making informed choices for yourself, you can become a completely new version of yourself that is more vibrant, energetic, and connected.
So, I encourage you, take the first step.
Embrace the curiosity.
You might just discover that a sober life is not only possible but also incredibly rewarding.
Be well,
L
