Breaking Free from Disordered Eating
When it comes to our relationship with food, good or bad, things can feel a little complicated. We live in a world where food often comes with rules and regulations, guilt, anxiety, or shame, and sometimes, it can be hard to tell if our habits are healthy or if something more is at play.
If you've ever found yourself obsessing over calories, feeling guilty for eating certain foods, or battling an endless cycle of restriction and overeating, you are not alone.
Let me repeat. You are not alone.
While these could be signs of disordered eating, or a dysregulated relationship with food, you are not alone in the experience.
And let’s be clear, this post isn’t about adding shame or judgment to your plate. Instead, we’re going to gently explore the different types of disordered eating, why these patterns might develop, and, most importantly, how you can begin to heal your life, and reclaim your relationship with food.
Types of Disordered Eating
It’s important to recognize the various types of disordered eating, and what qualifies each. It’s common to assume that if someone has a disordered relationship with food, they’re the problem, but just like with depression, anxiety, bipolar, and other mental health struggles, there is just so much more under the hood.
Disordered eating exists on a spectrum, and it’s important to note that not everyone with disordered eating patterns will develop a full-blown eating disorder. However, recognizing these patterns is the first step toward understanding them, confronting and changing them, and healing through them.
Let’s take a look at the different types of eating disorders currently recognized by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders:
Binge Eating Disorder: BED is marked by consuming large amounts of food in a short period of time, eating outside of your regular eating schedule, often feeling out of control around food, or feeling like eating is a compulsion, eating even when you are full (or beyond fullness), eating alone, and feeling guilt or shame about eating.
Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder: This looks like extreme food avoidance based on sensory characteristics of foods e.g. texture, appearance, color, smell. This can also look like anxiety over eating, or concern about consequences of eating, such as fear of choking, nausea, vomiting, constipation, an allergic reaction, etc. and this typically leads to malnutrition. This is far more serious that simply being a “picky-eater.”
Orthorexia: A disorder identified by an obsession with eating only "healthy" or "clean" foods, to the point where it disrupts daily life and creates a rigid mindset around food. This can be a type of ARFID (above), where the person may become anxious about the foods they’re consuming, to the point of lifestyle disruption.
Anorexia Nervosa: This is an ED characterized by self-starvation and weight loss resulting in extremely low weight for the person’s height and age. Anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric diagnosis, other than opioid use disorder, and can be a very serious condition. Dieting behavior in anorexia nervosa is driven by an intense fear of gaining weight or becoming fat.
Bulimia Nervosa: This ED is seen in individuals who typically alternate dieting, or eating only low calorie “safe foods” with binge eating on “forbidden” high calorie foods, where the binge is almost always followed by an unhealthy means of purging, either by vomiting or by the use of laxatives, or excessive exercise. Bulimia and BED often go hand
Pica: Super rare eating disorder marked by the consumption of non-food items, objects, or substances such as paper, paint, soap, hair, chalk, metals, etc. The disorder does not usually accompany an aversion to actual food, and is a serious condition that can lead to intestinal blockages or toxic effects of substances consumed.
While these are some examples, every person’s experience with disordered eating can be unique. You might resonate with one, or a mix of several, and that’s okay—it’s all part of the process of understanding where you are in your relationship with food.
In my own journey with healing childhood trauma, and looking at the unhealthy patterns in my life, it came to light that I was struggling with Binge Eating Disorder. For me, this looks like consuming large amounts of objectively unhealthy food, between meals, alone, in an incredibly compulsive manner. Once the thought was in my mind to get a certain food, I could not focus until I had cleared the compulsion.
It’s worth noting that the journey is not at all over for me. I currently work with a nutritionist, and with my therapist, to address the issue, which for me stems from using food for comfort in my childhood.
So, Why Does Disordered Eating Happen? How Does It Start?
We don’t just look up one day and decide to have a disordered relationship with food. ED is incredibly stressful because, well, we have to eat! Which is why any form of ED can severely disrupt your life.
Taking a look at how we get here can be incredibly helpful in the process of healing.
Eating disorders often stem from a combination of factors, and for many, it can be a response to trauma, stress, or a need for control. Let’s take a deeper look:
Trauma Response: For some, disordered eating is a way to regain a sense of control after experiencing trauma or a chaotic environment. Food becomes a way to cope with feelings of helplessness. Food can also become a source of comfort for someone experiencing chronic stress, or chronic trauma.
This follows my own experience growing up in a volatile, “box of chocolates” kind of household where screaming, throwing and slamming were common. I often felt uncertain, unsafe, and out of control (big triggers for me as an adult!), which led to me seeking comfort by hiding in my room eating snacks. On repeat.
As you can imagine, this kind of chronic activity led to strongly developed neural pathways created in my brain that trained me to reach for food when feeling uncertain (anxious), unsafe, or out of control. Not good.
Reclaiming your life when your ED comes from years of a developed trauma response is no easy feat, but I’m here to tell you that one, you can do it, and two, you are worthy of the work it takes. Keep going.Cultural Pressures: We live in a society that glorifies thinness and promotes unrealistic body standards, let’s be real. Diet culture, which I wrote a whole post on, can fuel disordered eating by constantly telling us we need to shrink ourselves to be worthy. I’m here to tell you that you do NOT need to shrink to be worthy. You are already worthy. Take care of yourself, and take up space.
Perfectionism: If you’re someone who strives to be "perfect" in every area of life, this can show up in your eating habits. You might find yourself aiming for a flawless diet or body, thinking that this will lead to happiness or success. I promise, black and white thinking like this will only hinder your relationship with food. There is a strong difference between being cognizant of what you eat, and being unrealistic with your expectations.
Emotional Suppression: Sometimes, disordered eating becomes a way to distract from or numb uncomfortable emotions, similar to using food in trauma response. Instead of facing those feelings, we might turn to food (or away from it) as a coping mechanism.
No matter what leads to you having a disordered relationship with food, recovery is possible.
Taking The Next Step
If any of this resonates with you, first and foremost, I see you, I hear you, I am you. Be kind to yourself. Recovery is possible. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed or ashamed, but remember—recognizing the problem is a brave and powerful step. And while disordered eating might feel all-encompassing right now, recovery is absolutely possible.
Here are some gentle steps you can take toward healing:
Seek Professional Support: Y’all know how I feel about working with a therapist (DO!!). Especially one who specializes in eating disorders or trauma recovery. A therapist with that kind of experience can help you uncover the root causes of your disordered eating and help you develop healthier coping strategies. Nutritionists who practice from a health-at-every-size perspective can also support you in building a balanced relationship with food, and a healthy relationship with your body.
Practice Self-Compassion: Recovery is a journey, and the journey is what is meant to be achieved. There will be ups and downs, go with it. Allow it. Celebrate small wins, be gentle with yourself when you struggle, and remember that progress is not linear, and that perfection is not possible (nor is it the goal).
Challenge Food “Rules”: Start questioning the food rules you’ve been living by, where they came from, and how/if they’re still serving you in anyway. Who decided that carbs are bad? Or that you can’t eat after a certain time? Breaking free from rigid rules is a huge part of healing. This journey is not, and can never be, that black and white.
Embrace Body Positivity: Part of healing from disordered eating is learning to respect and appreciate your body as it is right now. This doesn’t mean you have to love every part of yourself immediately—it’s about shifting your focus from shrinking, to nourishing your Body, Mind and Spirit.
Mindful Eating: Instead of labeling foods as “good” or “bad,” try to approach food with curiosity. Pay attention to how it makes you feel, and give yourself permission to enjoy the foods you love without guilt. In practicing intuitive eating like this, you will also learn which foods love your body back.
At the End of the Day, There is Hope.
You are not defined by your relationship with food, and your relationship with food does not have to consume your days.
While disordered eating can feel like it has control over your life, remember that it’s possible to heal, grow, and find peace with both food and your body. Recovery takes time, but every step you take—no matter how small—brings you closer to freedom.
You deserve a life where food actually feels like a source of nourishment, medicine and fuel for the body. You deserve a life where food does not stress you out. You deserve a life where you can embrace your body without fear or judgment.
So, take a deep breath with me right here…
IN…
OUT…
Give yourself some grace. Remember that healing is always within reach. You are worthy of recovery, and you don’t have to do it alone.
Be Well,
L
